I’m gonna do these!

(Source: starznrocketz)

I loved this movie!

“Like Crazy”

Everyone should see it!

(Source: goodthymesrkillingme)

Well, 

Here I am… Graduated… it makes me love everything. I’m done with most of the assholes I hate… and then next year I get to find new assholes I hate! Everyone wins! No… no… I’m kidding… well… sortof… 

Not the point! I’m going to try and make this a positive post because things have been going pretty well lately! 

1. I graduated

2. I went to DEMF

3. I got to show off my hot new boyfriend to my ex

so, I’ll start with explainations … and I’ll just number them with the list of things that are awesome that are above.

1. I graduated high school. I’m done dealing with the people I have dealt with for the last four years and I never actually have to deal with them again unless I want to! That is seriously awesome. There were definately parts of high school that I really enjoyed, but there were other parts that I’m excited to move away from. Going to Western next year is going to be amazing; I can just tell. No more lockers, no more seeing my ex, no more dealing with the assholes who walk around the halls and think they are better than me, no more smiling and pretending to like people who go that school just to avoid conflict. I can just be me. I can start fresh at Western. I won’t have a reputation… I won’t have anything that people expect about me. I can just be who I am now that I am leaving that shithole of a high school. I can make all new friends and still keep the cool people that I loved in high school and just forget all of the other people… Then I will see them whenever we have a reunion… and I can be awesome… Now I can just focus on my music.. and try to figure out who the hell I’m supposed to be. In the meantime.. I’ll just blog :) 

2. Holy Shit… DEMF…. The Detroit Electronic Music Festival… I went with my friend Jeff, who I work with… Who I am positive still really likes me… He is a HORRIBLE dancer… I love him… I really do. However, his dancing was just so incredibly awkward. I’m just happy he had fun. I had an INCREDIBLE time! There was so much good music and so many hot guys… And I was really inspired to try a few new things with fashion because of this whole thing. Yeah! Also, I got asked to dance by so many people! It was awesome! The first guy was super sweaty… His whole body was literally wet.. And then… I was drenched in his sweat. Gross. That is all I have to say. Second guy was tall with dark hair.. and he was SO HOT! Oh my god… I kinda just kept looking at him and dancing by myself in a sexy mannor… Sweet jesus… Third guy… He had long hair… he was hot too! and I don’t think he was wearing a shirt… But I’m not sure because I didn’t turn around.. He kissed me on the cheek and he bit my face. Yeah, he literally bit my face.. That was weird.. and I felt kinda bad that he did it because I have a boyfriend and everything.. But whatever… Then…. fourth guy…. He was by far my FAVORITE guy who I danced with… He was really cute! He was tan with blue eyes and dark blond hair… He had wonderful facial hair… For the life of me I can’t remember his name… I made eye contact with him and he says “You are way to pretty to be looking at me” then I almost was knocked over by this group of people… and he grabbed me and made sure I didn’t get carried off… he kinda just held me there for a second.. i admit i felt really guilty about that… but… oh well… He also told me that he really liked my style and how i danced… so we started dancing… and he kept spinning me to face him… and idk! It was great! Eventually he had to leave… and he asked for my number… but i didnt give it to him because I’m with Hunter. After him I danced with this weird black dude… who kept talking about his dick… so i ran away… Then this long haired guy… then this short guy in a tank top who started smoking a cig… I was convinced he was going to burn my hair! But thankfully he didn’t… He was complaining about how his sister was dancing with some weird sweaty guy who had a bunch of tattoos… Yeah… Basically… It was amazing! There were 40,000 people there… It was awesome! 

3. So…. I went to my friend’s bonfire… And Hunter and I parked and started to walk towards there door… and lo and behold.. i see it. There it is… The old lady vehicle that belongs to none other than my latest ex boyfriend… Daniel. My first thought and words after seeing it was “Oh fuck.” Hunter looks at me in a very concerned mannor and asks me what the matter is… I shake the whole thing off and hope to God the car belongs to my friend Kate’s friend Hot Thomas… But after asking Megan… Sure enough… There he is. All 6’3” of him. I put on my best fake smile and grip Hunter’s hand tightly. We sit down and Hunter plays with my hair is all cute and everything. It was perfect. Dan kept trying to follow around one of my other friends, but I could tell that she wasn’t having it. Then he claimed that one of my other friends had been making passes at him and I knew that this wasn’t true. After the graduation ceremony ended, Dan had been hardcore flirting with me… It was sort of uncomfortable… And then I showed up with Hunter! YAY! It was honestly perfect… He kept staring at me. I could tell by the look on his smug little face that he was incredibly jealous that I had recovered so quickly… I mean, it has been almost four months since our parting. I’m more than ready to have a boyfriend. It was wonderful. :) Plus, I looked really cute… Not in the trying to hard way… more like in the.. I’m cute and comfortable and here is my hot boyfriend… type of way. I didn’t even know he was going to be at the bonfire which made the whole thing even more perfect! 

I’ll admit, some shit things have happened within the last few days… but all of the other awesome thing outweigh that right now. 

(Source: katnisses)

Alright well… I’m done with this place. Finally… All I have to do is get through Wednesday and I won’t ever have to see most of the people who go to my high school ever again. I have friends who I know I will miss tons, but then there are people I’m excited to run away from. I just want to run and start over at western. Then hopefully move to Chicago and be me there… 

Well, I’m done with high school… Officially… the last time I ever have to see most of these people again is on Wednesday when we graduate…. Then again at our reunions… But idk if i would even go to my high school reunion. 

Plus, I’m with someone now… Idk, it’s weird to be back in a relationship after getting out of one that was so serious. We are just trying to keep it light and easy. But I’m afriad. I’m afraid to trust him because of how things ended up with Daniel. I mean, I know I should just man up and get over it… But it is honestly really difficult. I want to pretend that I’m this beautiful, strong, intelligent, and exciting people who doesn’t really give a fuck and just wants to have fun… But do you know how hard that is to keep up when you are actually a sensitive, hurt, and boring person who gives a lot of fucks about her feelings? My heart just recently went through an incredible beating… It was broken and spit on and stomped on and squished in the ground and then pissed on… And this has happened several times. I’m not ready for that again, and honestly I’m not ready to get treated like shit again in a relationship. Then when I think about this… I wonder if I’m really ready to be in a relationship…. But then we hangout and all of that anxiety goes away. He is sweet and cute and funny… and I really like my time with him, but I’m scared. 

I’m really scared. 

I just want to say that I’m taking a day off. From. Everything. 

I’m just going to sit around my house and drink coffee and watch bad tv… Then maybe I’l read and pretend I’m a scholar like I usually do. Then I work at 5 and maybe somewhere in between I’ll go see Jeff. 

I want to go to Paris today though. That is what I really want to do today… Why can’t I just take my savings and buy a one way ticket and never come back. I don’t need to graduate if I just start singing in Paris.. I could be an American Waitress… Find some hot french guy to live with and never come home. I could potentially start a whole new life with all new friends. My past would be virtually obsolete. Why can’t I just up and leave? What actually holds me here? The answer? 

Well… that is complicated… I guess I feel like I have a duty to society to actually finish high school… I have friends… I have my parents… My family… My job… College next year.. That is all. I would really like to just go. I don’t want to stay here anymore. I want to go to Paris or London or Rome or Amsterdam or Tokyo or Seattle or ANYWHERE OTHER THAN THIS PLACE. 

Get me the fuck out of here. 

I just hate this whole thing… I want to be done living as this person I pretend to be. 

I want to have fun. I want to be free. I want to sing in some smokey Paris Cabaret… And work as a barista during the day… I want a dirty apartment above some nasty looking bistro that has the best food in all of Paris. I want to go to markets and be a vegan for a week and then binge on pizza rolls. I want to ride a bike around Paris and be a cliche with a loaf sitting in the basket. I think I could skip that baret though… 

There we go. 

That is my rant for the day. 

so relaxing on my day off from life

(Source: that70sshownl)